Parental Influence on Identity in 1000 Splendid Suns

"little harami" : Parental Influence on Identity in 1000 Splendid Suns

In Khaled Husseini’s Thousand Splendid Suns, Laila and Mariam are two protagonists who are portrayed as victims of patriarchal oppression in Afghanistan. Both characters are raised differently by their parents ,and therefore have different characteristics and identities in adulthood. The differences between these two protagonists are used to demonstrate the influence of parental relationships on characters’ identities and senses of self throughout the novel.

Mariam, who is one of the main protagonists of the story, has unhealthy relationships with her parents, which ultimately results in her being raised without a sense of self-worth. For example, when Mariam is just a little girl, she is called a “clumsy little harami” (Hosseini 5) by her mother. That insult makes Mariam feel like she is a burden to her mother, Nana. She also thinks that she is rejected by her father because even though she adores him, her father Jalil only comes to visit her once a week and refuses to take her to his own house. That kind of rejection from her father ultimately leads Mariam to think that she is nothing but ‘a pokeroot. [a] mugwort.’(8) that can be tossed aside in her father’s eyes. These ideas of rejection and resentment by her own parents are main reasons why Mariam grows up without a sense of self-worth. While she is dealing with these feelings of abandonment, Mariam is also denied the right to an education by her parents. Her mother believes that women in life need "[o]nly one skill’(14) which is ‘tahammul’ (14) meaning fortitude. With this kind of treatment from her parents, Mariam grows up to be an outcast of society, one with low self-esteem and self-respect.

In comparison, Laila, who is also one of the main characters of the novel, is raised in a household where women are respected, valued and supported, which results in Laila becoming an ambitious and confident individual later in the book. For example, unlike Nana, Laila’s father Babi believes that women of a society need to be educated and tells Laila that “a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated”(72). That is why instead of having Laila married like many Afghan fathers force their girls to do, Babi supports her education since he believes that “[m]arriage can wait, education cannot”(72). Babi lets Laila know of his support by telling her that her education is the “absolute top priority”(96) for their family. With that kind of support from her family, Laila grows up to be a responsible individual who is willing to contribute to the development of their society. An example of this struggle to contribute to society can be seen when Laila returns back to her hometown towards the end of the novel to help provide a better life for the town’s orphan children by becoming a most beloved and inspiring teacher for them.

Both protagonists have very different family relationships which result in each of the main characters growing up with very different characteristics. For example, Mariam, who had unhealthy and abusive relationships with her parents, grew up to be an isolated adult with little happiness, ambition, or self-respect. That is why during Mariam’s marriage, even when she is senselessly beaten several times by her husband, she still quickly reasons that she is at fault and deserving of those beatings. On the other hand, Laila, who has positive and healthy relationships with her parents ,grows up to be a productive individual of society who can stand up for what is right. That is why Laila can find the courage to confront her husband when he wants to make her daughter a street beggar. The comparison between both protagonists' identities and their reactions to injustice show the influence of parent-child relationships on a child's identity in their future.

Conclusively, in the novel A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Husseini uses character differences between the two main protagonists Laila and Mariam to show the influence of parental relationships and upbringing from childhood on one’s personality in the future. Through this novel, Husseini also sheds light on the influence of parent-child relationships when it comes to producing valuable and productive members of society. Husseini shows that healthy and positive relations between a parent and a child will result in that child growing up to be an ambitious and helpful individual of society. On the other hand, unhealthy and abusive relationships may result in the child growing up to be an isolated and purposeless member of said society. Therefore, the members of a society will only be as happy, fulfilled, and productive as the quality of the people who raised them.

Mahir KAYA